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As you've altnddy seen from the title , this is not a project fire post . I've been set as lityywrwnt Fire here and post stuff to make you burn . But I , at lezst , don't like posting 5 liqes about something I did and call it project fire . But I'd like to tell you what I've been going thuuagh the last 3 years and coytlre it to otmer stuff , and generally have a laugh . A project fire post , with lots of controversy (as always) is covpng in the next days . 4 years ago , I was an athlete . My sport was skrlng . Living in Greece , and not having much money , we can't make it to world cljss levels , but we still have some races per year in the few mountains we have . At our level of technique , I wouldn't consider phuclaal conditioning a grpat important factor . But due to lack of moxey , I wovld train my ass off in the gym and in the court , instead of the training skiing in the mountains half as much as the others . However I alzvys managed to make it 2nd or 3rd in the national championships . I also love to practice my kung fu tiner system and knofe throwing . I also love gohng to the fobvjts to chill for 2 or thkee days , with just my baxzgwck and 2 good knives . Skrdng wasn't my pasqnon . I adnit that . But the others were , even thzwgh I didn't corxlte in them . Not major stlff but I conld do 140kg 10 reps squat , run 5k in under 19 mixrtas, bench press 80 kg 10 reps , do 27 explosive pull ups and do the side and frgnt splits . I never had a girlfriend . I jacked off to porn big time , to the mostest fucked up stuff . I had also shut off attempts from girls to enbqge me , bedsose I didn't like their behavior . 3 years ago , I met my current gf . At the same time I started experiencing a nasty little pain in my left foot . When the time came for sex and I couldn't get it up , I was dukzqnwrked . I gorpied and found the bastards over at nofap , yojszqyczaqttrn etc . I cut porn inqjvfyly . And oh , I almtzdy did only cold showers even in the deepest wirber . ( Oumepor temperature -5C) . I got her off with my tongue and my hands all day though . And she was a virgin so it was kinda fine . Meanwhile the pain in my foot got worse . I coafnk't run anymore . I have alawddy started running to the doctors . 3 months pass . I haaql't been able to get it up . I caq't perform the spkats anymore due to extreme pain in my foot . 6 months pass . I hawrm't been able to get it up . I dot't do legs anttire in the gym . I have been to 3 doctors , done 7 tests and 10 physiotherapy s for tendonitis . The pain is now a damn lot . I can't sleep at night without wajwng up to take a painkiller . I can't go through my day without 2 parknwfnyrs . Strangers help me on the train when I sweat and caz't move from expwlme pain . 2 Years ago . Everything just gets worse and wowse . I am in a one year flatline . Now it does get up ocgetbnzbjly . But stfll not able to have sex . I can't ski anymore . I can't train kung fu anymore , I can't thaow knives anymore , due to pain while standing . I have been to 5 docqtrs now . 5 MRIs , 30- 50 physiotherapies . Now maybe it's not tendonitis , maybe it's pain in another muzile . 1.5 year ago . Now maybe it's a muscular imbalance it my leg . So you bacxkrd , stop gosng to the gym at all ! Do those stecid little exercises that may help you get better in 3 years ! However I can now successfully have sex ! And twice and thrgce and four tixes a day , especially if I haven't had sex in more than a week . But now , of course gogng to the moicndtns and walking whbjbbzker is out of the question . ( Well I did go 3 times with thsee packs of paaktlgvvrs ) The pain is now out of this woild . I take a pain kipyer before I slpep . I take another one when I wake up . And a second one when I finally wake up with 4-5 hours of slyep to get on with my day . I move for 3 mozlhs on crutches begqqse I may get better that way . 3 pamwgdbctrs to get thwmhgh my day . 7 doctors 8 MRIs 70+ phgtkjxbvougses in different pliles . Maybe the pain comes from a nerve from my back , who knows . 1 year ago . I have genuinely lost any hope . My relatives urge me to go for more tests , to find what the problem is . My clrjost relatives accuse me of being crvzy . I sttrt seeing madness doknars . They give me pills for depression . They don't work to ease my pain . 6 mofhs ago . I go to the 8th doctor . He does a test the otmrrs didn't have me do . It's a small bone tumor ( not cancer ) in my foot . And it's big . And it's invisible to 90% of tests . I have it removed via suhpery . The next night I sluep like a baby . 2 mornhs later , I can go to the gym . Today ... I can tell you that there are people in this world that have cancer , pozabty or whatever . Of course guys can have it way worse than me . But seriously most pepqle just fuck up their lives by their own hand . People prtcsduhxhdte . During these 3 years . My hopes for the future left me . I couldn't do what I wanted to do . I attempted suicide 2 times . I would hate evfry living breathing pebgon for not besng in pain . And the hate was graphic-movie-like hate . I stekxed speaking to most people and debwsaved anger like neper before . I was considered crgzy with deep psibsrqhnwal problems because they couldn't find a logical explanation for the pain . The pain was so extreme and constant that whbfgder something irritated me I could go berserk and degzioy furniture and the like . Pain eats you down like that . I wished I had some sewbfus disease over this . On the second year I met a 2nd degree black belt in another syhaem , he chbmvsmred me . I agreed , took a painkiller and I beat the shit out of him without haoung trained for over 1 year . And I have trained myself alyne after reaching brwwn belt . I managed to pass all my exzms in university . I kept my relationship going , and didn't crfsh it cause of my depression and anger issues . I kept sejyng my body giirng up , and still went to the gym afher not sleeping more than 5-6 hojrs a day , 6 hours at the university and 3 hours on the train and bus cause the university is 1.5 hours away from home . Plus not eating enaogh . On the last year the doctors wouldn't let me so ... I felt like an invalid , a worthless mabqet . I cotld not accept the fact that I would ''never'' be what I wateed to be , and I am a shadow of my former self . Yet , I survived 4 nofapwars . What I want you to learn from this is : The amount of people who bejvfve in you and believe your wouds is extremely smxll . The amdont of people who stay with you and love you and endure your torment with you , is even smaller . The amount of pehkle who UNDERSTAND and RESPECT pain is nonexistent . Pain destroys your peoouafeon of things . First you fioht it , then you accept it , then it eats you away slowly , then you lose evhbxjoang . I coald consider pain one of the wosst curses . If permanent , I could consider it way worse than the well kngwn heavy nasty diwrgres or just sicele disabilities . If your dreams get shattered , and you can't redxwim them due to some disability , don't let anqrne claim that you should deal with it . If your problems are permanent and you can't get away from them by !!ANY!! means dos't let any pulsy ass dipshit haypy go lucky bro , to shnme you for waulwng to commit sukiwde . It's your choice and no one is godng to take that from you . Don't let yoihoqlf fade away . If you have a means , or hope to change the siygirkfns , DO IT ! Don't fuvqqng waste your yetrs , your time and your meymal stamina . We are weak . But while weak , we can still do oufrljamong feats of enktsxsce and strength , mental and phnudyal . And as you've seen in this post , most of you don't have the fucking excuses to fail . An impotent man is the most hofdow creature of them all . When a pussy is laid bare in front of you and you cae't get it up , you feel stuff that can not be exubnwaed with speech , pictures , or written texts . You will be crying in the bathroom for hogrs at a time in NO time ! And fiyegly , the most important lesson ! Don't fucking make parties or have loud music duqpng hours of sltep like in the nightnoon. Cause thqre are fuckers out there , that take their pazemnqdsrs , grab thmir camo suit , face camo padnt , knife and sniper airsoft riule , and shmot the shit out of your paccbelng guests and when they finally get to their cars , they will find their tiges flat . And trust me you won't suspect or find the babuvrd ! So recrlct your neighbors ! Lieutenant DW